Welcome to the Blog
Learn more about our services by reading the blog. HERE you will find information to help you reflect about your Coaching and Training Practices. Also you will be able to follow me as I reflect on my own professional journey. I will share how my insights influence not only my practices but my life. Come and take time to reflect with me as I move into the uncomfortable to become a better Professional and Human Being!
2023
Newness
Time To Reflect (TTR)...Sometimes all you need is something you can remember to start building the newness in your life. Here are three that really help me believe I can start again and again, you get the point!
“I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.” - Juansen Dizon
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." - Seneca
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” – Daphne Rose Kingma
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
2022
Can You Do It
Time To Reflect (TTR)...My Dad had this way of asking me an empowering question. It was empowering because he never asked it with any doubt, he never asked like he didn't have a response. It always felt like he asked this question as if he wanted me to say the answer out loud so that I can hear the solutions that were already in me or so I could confirm every action that was to come next.
Whenever I had an idea or whenever I came across a situation that seemed taller than I was and I had to make a move, my Dad would ask "CAN YOU DO IT"...... You see most times my Dad knew I already had the answer or at least the next move in my head but his question always left me with reassurance because I knew win or lose, fail or succeed I wasn't in it alone because he already trusted me, I just needed to trust myself. Although CAN YOU DO IT is not your typical empowering question but by asking it you allow the person being asked to come up with and trust what they already know. Not only does this question help adults figure out tough situations but gives children an opportunity to build strong problem solving skills and gives them the opportunity to overcome. Remember what you put in children now will give them confidence to move forward even when it's hard. So make the next question you ask someone an empowering one!
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Doing the Right Thing
Time To Reflect (TTR)...By doing the right thing, we think that everything is going to be ok. Those who have lived long enough know that this is ABSOLUTELY not true but what I have found is that when I do the right thing, things always work out leading me to conclude that if we don't do the right thing it just doesn't work (obvious huh)??? Obvious or not, stand in your convictions and believe that your life is driven by you, the inner management of yourself even when the external is going to hell. I know that by listening to philosophical podcasts I may be expressing way too much but my journey to grow continues without apologies and to quote Sadhguru, "You do not have prove anything to anyone. It is wonderful to be alive, to be who you are and to grow. Ultimately that is all that matters." So do the right thing even when it's not popular, have a mind that is free enough to go beyond its current limitations and as I said last month, get uncomfortable!
Bend and Stretch yourself and that time to reflect!
Self-Connection
Time To Reflect (TTR)...They say you can't connect with others if you haven't first connected with yourself. I don't know who they are who said this but if you read my January Blog BELIEVE , I do know that I have learned that out of all the decisions that I make, the best one is to make the decision to believe in myself. Part of believing in myself is getting in touch and staying in tune with what's going on inside of me. Carl Gustav Jung said, "Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." and with that said to help myself look inward I used my 10 day WOC Mental Wellness Self-Coaching Guide to set a goal surrounding self-love. I chose to reflect on paying attention to my feelings, especially the things that trigger negative emotions in me. I rediscovered that I am not setting enough boundaries in my relationships and it often leaves me drained. My quick fix for what to do about this issue was to simply say NO and get comfortable with the word and just like taking off one accessory when I leave the house, I now eliminate one item off of the to do list every day to symbolize choosing myself. The other discovery is that most times when I feel fear or I am worried it's because I'm not in control. As I got quieter, I remember Bishop T.D. Jakes saying that if we knew everyday what was going to happen we wouldn't need faith. I also came across a quote that helped me immensely, "Why worry about things you can't control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the thing that depend on you?" - Unknown. It's funny what you will remember and research when you are reflective. I know it's going to take more than 10 days to perfect my inward reflection but I feel better than when I started and that's the purpose!
Bend and Stretch yourself and that time to reflect!
Episode 750
Five Keys
Time To Reflect (TTR)...There is something to be said about sharing, being seen and seeing others for all the right reasons!! Check me out being brave in new spaces, episode 750 on the Sheba Shares PODCAST!! Get the Five KEYS to better social emotional health.
https://www.divasthatcare.com/episode-750-with-guest-keshon-mack-brown/
https://www.blogtalkradio.com/divasthatcare/2022/03/31/social-emotional-wellness-for-women
https://soundcloud.com/divasthatcarenetwork/social-emotional-wellness-for-women
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5pkcFt95iVyTanxjtbXFBO?'m
Bend and Stretch yourself and that time to reflect!
Improv Vs. Improve
Time To Reflect (TTR)...I know there is a saying that goes fake it til you make it and I do believe that sometimes you are in the process of possessing the understanding that you need to accomplish any goal but I also believe not knowing and owning it can be a substantial truth to stand in. This leads me to think about the difference between Improv versus Improve. When I train, I often encounter people who are not prepared and have perfected the art of acting out what they do in their lives and or profession and they go through great lengths to convince me and others that they can implement what I am teaching successfully. Often when I have to coach these same individuals, I find that the improv show that they put on was a façade and we are eventually faced with identifying areas to improve to take the FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT situation to PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS. So instead of faking it when you should just stand in your NOT-KNOWING truth, share how you want to increase your knowledge, you might be able to help someone else move forward be better prepared and improve.
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
BELIEVE
Time To Reflect (TTR)...In Sun Tzu's book the Art of War there is a strategy called situation response. This strategy helps you achieve the highest level of adaptive decision-making and the premise is that if you make the right decisions faster you will be more successful. I have learned that out of all the decisions that I make, the best one is to make the decision to believe in myself. Belief in yourself is the right decision every time. Belief in yourself arrests the thoughts of self-doubt and gives you the power to move forward. It also gives you the confidence to move past what others think about you or how they define you. No one else can define your success. Make the decision and rethink your limiting thoughts, create and BELIEVE that all things are possible and that you are possible.
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
2021
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Time To Reflect (TTR)...A sultan asked King Solomon to come up with a phrase that would be true in good or bad times and he said, “This Too Shall Pass”. If you believe this saying is an old Persian adage or a quote from an Abraham Lincoln speech it doesn’t matter because the point is not to focus on who said it but what it means. I believe it means what it says….good times come to an end and bad times come to an end. For instance, if we think about our shadow, it is always with us but when we face our shadow (our challenges, our negative thoughts, the bad times) we learn that eventually the sun will face us and our shadow will be to the back of us and during these times we can clearly see (our achievements, our positive thoughts, the good times). As I watched the inauguration yesterday, I was able to reflect about the past year and I began to feel heavy about the things that have not changed, racism, sexism, inequities that are ingrained in the fabric of our country, but my spirit wouldn’t let me feel the blanket of depression. As I clutched my pearls I began to hope for a different future and the responsibility I have to make it different and with those though I had a new appreciation for the quote “This too shall pass”.Ahhhh you thought I wasn’t going to mention Coaching. I am mentioning it, but I will leave it up to you to apply the information or feelings I just shared to your practice.
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
GRATITUDE LEADS TO GRACE
Time To Reflect (TTR)...This month was a month of celebrations, not only because it is the month I am born in but because I decided to thank and lift others up in different ways. I called people just to tell them how great they are, I sent text messages expressing sincere gratitude, I sent small meaningful gifts and each day I noticed all of the positive things in my life. Unbeknownst to me each day I focused on giving gratitude, I received gifts from the heart...an unexpected phone call, a beautiful celebration that lifted me and others, a birthday getaway fit for a Queen. In coaching we use talking about celebrations or our wins to help keep us present and centered before unloading or venturing into unexpected feelings or conversations of reflection. In reflecting on what this past month has shown me, I can truly say I am grateful for all the experiences that have led me here and thankful that I made it in one piece. Take time to accept all that comes with life the positive and the negative and share your knowledge and gratitude with others so they too may say they are glad they made it.
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
PERFECTION!
Time To Reflect (TTR)...Perfection! A part of me approaches Coaching as a science. There are strategies that support behavior and motivate others to reflect and make changes in their practices. However, there is the human element to Coaching…the relationship element that sometimes veers off the road of perfection. Our thoughts and emotions as a Coach even when you are well intended can impact your Coachee and vice versa in an imperfect way. I know the thought is shocking but it happens and when it does prepare to be seen in all your humanness. What I’ve learned in reflecting is that I am not a perfect Coach, nor do I want to be. Brene Brown says “Perfection is a 20-pound shield that keeps you from being seen.” As a coach, I come to the practice ready to be real and honest in hopes of walking an authentic journey with my Coachees. Courage to be seen even when I’m not perfect is another Time to Reflect so I will defer to acknowledging that I used to pick comfort over courage. I’m now 20 pounds lighter and am grateful for the challenges that illuminate my beautiful imperfections.
Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
UNLEARNING
Time To Reflect (TTR)...Unlearning has become one of the most important forms of growth for me this past year. Being able to put aside how I usually do things especially the thoughts and behaviors that don’t help me experience growth has been eye opening. Jack Uldrich, says “Learning is an external act and Unlearning is an internal one.” Internally I have been more conscious about how I perceive information especially when I already have strong beliefs that may get in the way of being able to view the old with new eyes. Pursuing the new has been a good start in my unlearning journey and being uncomfortable for growth has been a challenge for me. However, as I reflect on my process of unlearning, setting goals has taken on a new meaning. As a Leader, Trainer and Coach, I set goals and help others to set goals that will elevate thinking so that growth in inevitable not avoided.
Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
SELF
AND
CONSISTENCY
Time To Reflect (TTR)...We all go on journeys in life but on our journeys, we have many ups and downs that not everyone gets to see because they are internal. Whether the journey is an internal one or not I have found that being consistent has gotten me through different experiences. Consistency in my work ethic is important but being consistent in how I think about myself is just as important whether I am trying to accomplish something or not. I’m not going to say that I am always 100% sure or positive about what I think and say to myself because that would not be true, but there isn’t one goal or one dream I haven’t accomplished without consistently telling myself that what I want to do is possible. I also know that consistency may not always give birth to immediate results when working towards the things you want to do in life….so no matter how many hours you work one day or what you did the other day, stay consistent in what you say and believe about yourself and watch all that’s possible come to pass. What areas of your life need consistency?
Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
LOST TOURIST
Time To Reflect (TTR)...Research says that learning a new language can help increase your working memory, widen your perspective about the world and help you venture into new markets. Now with that said, I’m taking a Spanish course in hopes of all the above but also just to learn something different. My friend who speaks Spanish fluently says I sound like a lost tourist; I can say that I’m not good at speaking Spanish yet but something is happening because I chuckle to myself when someone says something in English and I translate it into Spanish in my head and not the other way around. As I reflect, I’m realizing that sometimes I put too much emphasis on the result of learning and not the process. When I am learning I am so concerned about the grade or that I’m doing it right I don’t spend enough time chuckling about my missteps or just enjoying what I am discovering about myself. Soooo, as I learn to speak or not to speak Spanish, I’m going to use it more, ask questions and chuckle when I sound like a lost tourist because putting yourself out there is never easy but the experience can be so much fun and you know what I always say.....
Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Honest Feedback
Time To Reflect (TTR)….
What is gone is gone! To help me think about what’s gone, I envision a staircase…a staircase goes up and down at the same time so while I cope with or ponder over what is gone or going down that staircase, I also think about what better has come up that same staircase because I was able to let go and move forward. I have made mistakes some I made knowing that this is not going to end well but most were unintentional. No matter how the mistakes were made, I’ve learned to think about what those choices or decisions have taught me. Sometimes the lessons are not easily seen and I need those who are close to me to point them out and as I grow, I’m more willing to humble myself and listen. Sometimes the honest feedback is hard to swallow because those who observe me most are under the age of 5 (lol). As a coach, I always mention that you should take time to reflect because it promotes growth and today is no different. I want you to humble yourself and reflect on the feedback you’ve been given and ask yourself have I been listening to what those close to me have been saying? If you have been listening, I hope that the stairs sound less rickety as the things we let go of travel down them and the things that feed us mentally, physically and emotionally travel up that same staircase more easily so that we do better by ourselves and others and the only way we can do it is to…..
Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Unshaven Stubble
Time To Reflect (TTR)…. Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Uncomfort your zone
Time To Reflect (TTR)…. Bend and stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Triggered Emotions
Time To Reflect (TTR)….
I wanted to share my thoughts because I have spent a lot of time this week working with others and supporting them with how to support young children with their social emotional learning and sometimes these conversations trigger emotions that I can identify and and deal with but causes me to go deeper with my reflections about my own social emotional health.
In my life, I have spent a lot of time being busy to keep from thinking about traumas or problems to feel safe from what I think will cause me pain. Sometimes when I help others process their feelings and when it’s hard for them to do so, I ask the question WHAT IS THE NEXT BEST THING you can do to help yourself or your student to process their emotions.
I asked myself that same question recently because I didn’t want to get stuck in the pit of my emotions because I know things have happened to me but I do know I can overcome and pour into others even when it’s scary. Someone recently told me that I was a sharer and I wasn’t sure if I should take it positively or negatively, soooo I decided to take it positively, and the next best thing to do was to share:) and think about what brings me joy as I work through my emotions. As I started thinking about joy, I literally went to the dictionary and looked up the word and I realized there were some things about Joy that I felt I was not actively pursuing. It wasn’t’ until I was reading an article by Jess Semaan who is a Lebanese poet, that I realized once again that one of the things that brings me joy is writing…. writing this blog and looking at words that are beautiful together and I began to smile which clearly is a sign that looking at my unique talents and gifts brings me joy. It’s a little more to it but it’s a process. You may or may not need a coach to tell you this but reflect about what brings you joy. You know what I always say....
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Purpose Times Two
Time To Reflect (TTR)….
We are in the month of November and usually everyone is talking about what they are grateful for but I have added gratefulness into my everyday routine so I wanted to spend our time today talking about purpose again with you. Back in September, I stated that a friend of mine pushed me out of my comfort zone and that interaction helped to solidify my belief that sharing with others what I believe gives me great purpose. I created a Wellness Forum for Women of Color this month so that Women could come together in a safe space to discuss issues surrounding Mental Wellness and Health. On the journey to creating this forum, my intentions, thoughts and actions were aligned with my discipline so that what I put out in the world created the response that I received and it was greater than anything I could have imagined thus showing me again that when I push myself towards my purpose I can create and add value to others which is humbling and a blessiing.
As I continue on this road, I guess I am grateful that it is in my heart to support others and live my purpose. It is refreshing that I can choose to think about my purpose as infinite and not finite. So, I ask you how are you moving in your purpose? Think of what you could do if you did one thing to move towards aligning your intentions, thoughts and actions (Purpose X 2)…? As I release some of the doubt and fear I realize growth is infinite and comparison stifles the possibilities of our growth…? So I look forward to seeing you grow….You know what I always say....
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!
Final Grace
Time To Reflect (TTR)….
December is herrrrrrre and will soon be gone and I thought I would be writing my final words of the year from a serene place in good health but low and behold I am ending the year in bed thanking God that I’m still here. I struggled with making my COVID diagnosis a big part of this expression but now that I have mentioned it that is all I have to give because I have really been a part of some magnificent spaces, seen some beautiful places and I really have put a lot of checkmarks next to some big goals.
The most fulfilling part of this year was achieving those goals but making connections to people was even more amazing; Children with specials needs, Educators who were in need, Families who didn’t want to need and Women of Color who couldn’t carry anymore loads of others whose needs wouldn’t allow them to heal.
Through all of the struggles, like Maya Angelou said “But still, like dust, I’ll rise”, we rose and this year when I look back at the causes that were dear to me I can hear the song YOU HAVE DONE ME WELL being sung by Swahili performer Solomon Lange. YOU HAVE DONE ME WELL…. not me but he who is greater than me because he has allowed me grace and a new fearlessness to push and not punish myself and to see the world as a place that needs safe spaces for healing and love and through gifts that my ancestors gave, that may seem familiar but not quite done from my perspective. If this year has left a hole in you for whatever reason, “Did they want to see you broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes?” find yourself in giving to others, find a community that expresses love to support you and not tolerate you. Be really well mentally, physically, and most of all emotionally. With gratitude, I leave this year a better person not just for me but for what I have humbly added to others and my hope is that you have done the same and will sing with me YOU HAVE DONE ME WELL.
You know what I always say....
Bend and Stretch yourself and take time to reflect!